I'm not me.

I feel like crying every time I talk to you. Nothing I do or say gets to you. It's like your heart is cold stone. Frozen over after she left you.
What I want to know is, how is it my fault? And how could you break me like this? I'm a broken person because of this relationship. I feel sometimes that I'll never find that contentment in love that I've been searching for.
This relationship has brought out the best and the worst in me. That's weird, but true. I've learnt how to be completely selfless, and how to compromise. But I've also been completely pathetic and heavily weak. I've fought to be selfish. Actually fought to be selfish. I've been selfish where you let me get away with it.
But it's always you calling the shots at the end of the day.
Try as I might, I can't get out of your embrace, even when your arms are by your sides. Even when you walk across the room. Even when you cross the Sahara and stay as far away from me as you possibly can.
I don't know if it's love or weakness or both.
I keep hoping, wishing, praying for the impossible instead. That you love me. That you understand me. That we are happy.
It's all I have.